Bullying and tolerance

There's a fascinating story on Slate.com about the bullying suffered by the author as an overweight child. I read it with great sympathy, as I myself was a magnet for childhood bullying. The story made me remember times that I had stuffed down the memory hole; it's uncomfortable, to say the least, to remember those times. The worst for me was about 5th through 8th grade, when a clique of "cool girls" selected me as their victim. I still remember, in 8th or 9th grade, when the ringleader asked if I'd like to hang out with them sometime -- first, I thought they were horrible people and didn't want to spend time with them, and second, I thought it was a trick, so I said no. Looking back, I wonder if it was a genuine offer -- perhaps she had a change of heart (or was acting under duress from her parents).

In any case I don't remember much about that group in high school and I missed my 10th high school reunion -- maybe I'll see how they're doing at the 20th. After her 30th reunion, my mom said something wise: "Life has a way of ironing people out." After success and failure, degrees and marriages, job losses and divorces, children's births and (sadly) deaths, people that were plain nasty in high school had mellowed. Life comes into perspective. (LOL -- she did say it took 30 years.)

I wasn't bullied for my size, which was tallish and chubby but not crazy fat. I was (still am!) socially awkward and had no skills for dealing with confrontation. I think there was just something about me that screamed "victim!" I was lucky enough to have three amazing friends -- the only ones from childhood and high school I'm still in touch with -- and a wonderful family, so I had an emotional safety net that many bullied kids don't have. During adolescence I gained more confidence and the bullying faded, though I never was in a "cool" clique. (And I'm still not.)
There was an insightful comment in response to the bullying story mentioned above (full comment here, emphasis mine) :

The moment they convinced you that the reason for the bullying was your being fat, they won. And the moment you realized it was nothing but a power play, you started winning your self-esteem back.
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and so do bullied kids. If it weren't your weight, it would have been something else. [...] I realize now that just like a dog senses fear, the potential bulliers sensed vulnerability/receptiveness in me. And I spent years before I finally figured out that [...] it was mostly not about the bulliers, it was about me, and would continue to be until I dealt with it in the present tense. [...] —kipouros

Wise words! Like sexual harassment and rape, bullying isn't about the obvious issue; it's just a power play. And the only way to face it is to trust yourself and gain confidence, learn those social skills (even how to have a verbal fight) and use them. Set your own agenda and set your own boundaries instead of reacting to others' plans and actions. Take responsibility for yourself!

The bullying issue is a bit off topic, but I think it's relevant because many weight issues are related to emotional ones. I remember gaining weight as a child immediately after a traumatic event -- I've wondered if I'd have remained slim, like the rest of my family, if I'd received some sort of counseling at the time. And as with everything around me right now, all this seems to relate to some sort of unified theory of life that supports fasting. Intermittent fasting is the best way I've found to take responsibility for my nutrition, health, and appearance. It's also made me calmer and more open to positive emotions, love and gratitude, and readier to accept people. And because I'm more committed to my own well-being it's made me more decisive about cutting contact with toxic people.

Thoughts? Has anyone read the article?