oof

I've been gaining weight, back up to where I was a month ago. 162. Bleh.

Yesterday I wasn't hungry at all and my stomach actually hurt every time I ate something... and I kept eating anyway. It was a weird kind of eating as self-punishment. I do feel that my relationship with food has improved but it has a long way to go yet.

I changed the blog title a while ago to "fasting my way to me" because I believe it has brought a lot of clarity about who I am and how I need to relate to my loved ones. It really is helping me to grow up and make tough choices responsibly. As they say, time heals all wounds -- but in the meanwhile the wounds hurt.